Marsh Wars: The Cattails Awaken

I thought I’d publish an post from my old blog in honor of the new Star Wars Movie: The Force Awakens.  This post was intended as some April Fool’s Day fun several years ago.  I knew it wouldn’t fool anyone.

Lego Star Wars in the Marsh

Republic defenders of the marsh.

I just got a letter from the Lego Company.  They have rejected a concept for a new series of toys I call “Marsh Wars.”  I guess I’ll have to send my proposal to George Lucas, and company.  It takes place during the Clone Wars of the Star Wars prequel franchise.  The Sith have sent new invasive species into the wetlands of the galaxy.  These plants increase the energy produced by the dark side of the force, giving Darth Sidious more power to take over the Republic.   It is up to the Jedi Order and the clones under their command to stop these plants:  narrow-leaf cattail and reed canary grass.

Lego Star Wars Speeder and Hoth creatures in wetland

Battle of Rat River, notice marsh is already infected by narrow-leaved cattail.

Lego Star Wars Emperal Officer

Sith Captain with explosives

I suppose I can understand that the Lego Company may not like my proposal, but they did not need to be so rude in letting me down.  They called my proposal a “disturbing 700 page manifesto.”  I did a significant amount of research and I stand behind every word of that document, and to be fair it is only 682 pages.  “We agree that invasive species pose a significant threat to wetland and other environments, but we do not wish Lego toys sets to include Roundup and other herbicides.”  Well, I hate pesticides, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  Perhaps they could have given me some tips on how to improve my concept rather than saying “We truly wish you the best with whatever devastating affliction you have.”  I really wished they had passed this on to George Lucas and his team instead of “… we are sending our concerns to your local law enforcement and the FBI.”

Lego Star Wars and Rock Creatures

The Sith “Planters”

I hope you got a chuckle if you share my sick sense of humor.

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